Burnout Took a Year of My Life—And I Didn’t Even See It Coming

I used to think burnout was something that happened to other people—workaholics, high-powered executives, or those who never took a break. But between July and October 2023, I started feeling… off. I blamed it on hormones, convinced menopause was knocking early at my door. Instead of listening to my body, I powered through, brushing off the exhaustion, irritability, and constant brain fog as just life.

Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com

Then 2024 arrived, and work kicked into overdrive. The first six months were a relentless cycle of 50- to 60-hour workweeks, endless stress, and a growing sense that I was failing at everything. I wasn’t fully present at home, I barely had time for my family, and no matter how much I did, I felt like nothing was ever truly done. The to-do list was never-ending, and the guilt? Immense.

Then something really scary happened: I realized I could barely remember anything from January to October.

A full ten months of my life? Gone. Not in the dramatic, "I hit my head and lost my memory" kind of way, but in the everything feels like a blur way. I can’t remember events in the right order. Conversations, moments with my daughter, even a family trip that should have been a core memory—it’s all stripped away, like someone went into my brain and hit the shuffle button. I was living, but I wasn’t there. And that realization hit me harder than anything else.

By September, I hit a wall—hard. One day, I walked out of work in tears, completely overwhelmed. It wasn’t one big moment that broke me; it was the slow accumulation of stress, exhaustion, and ignoring all the warning signs my body had been throwing at me for months. I finally went to my doctor, and after listening to me unravel, she gave me the diagnosis I had been too stubborn to admit to myself: burnout and depression.

She put me on a two-month leave, and honestly, I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or terrified. What would I do with all that time? (Spoiler: I slept. A lot.) I also found a therapist, started medication, and for the first time in a long time, I prioritized me. The fog started to lift. I felt present again—with my daughter, my husband, and even myself.

And while I still don’t have those missing months back, I do have the ability to move forward with intention. I’ve learned an important lesson: pushing through isn’t a badge of honor if it breaks you in the process. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

What to Do If You Think You’re Experiencing Burnout

If any of this sounds familiar—constant exhaustion, irritability, struggling to focus, feeling like no amount of rest is enough—please don’t ignore it. Burnout can creep up on you, and if left unchecked, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues.

Here are some steps to take if you suspect burnout:

1. Acknowledge It – The first step is recognizing that something isn’t right. It’s not just stress; burnout is prolonged emotional and physical exhaustion.

2. Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a friend, partner, therapist, or doctor, don’t keep it to yourself. Saying it out loud makes it real and helps you find solutions.

3. Prioritize Rest – You don’t need to “earn” rest. Take breaks, set boundaries, and allow yourself to slow down without guilt.

4. Seek Professional Help – Therapy can be life-changing. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, a mental health professional can help you navigate burnout and recovery.

5. Make Small Changes – If quitting your job or taking extended leave isn’t an option, find small ways to lighten your load—delegating tasks, setting work boundaries, or carving out time for things that bring you joy.

6. Move Your Body – Even short walks or stretching can help clear your mind and improve your mood. You don’t need an intense workout—just movement.

7. Fuel Yourself – Caffeine is great (hello, blog name!), but real energy comes from nutritious food, hydration, and sleep. Take care of your body, and your mind will follow.

   
   
   
   

Online Resources for Help

If you need support, here are some helpful resources:

• BetterHelp (betterhelp.com) – Online therapy with licensed professionals.

• Therapy for Black Girls (therapyforblackgirls.com) – Mental health support for Black women.

• Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com) – Find therapists in your area.

• Mind.org (mind.org.uk) – Mental health resources and support.

If you’re feeling like I did—exhausted, overwhelmed, like you’re barely holding it together—please, listen to yourself sooner than I did. Life is too short to spend entire seasons of it just surviving.

And if menopause ever does show up for real? Well, at least I’ll be ready for it.

-Fabi