Starting, Pausing, and Restarting: A Working Mom’s Honest Guide to Avoiding Burnout

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5:15 AM. The first alarm cuts through the dark like a sharp edge. It’s the "Ideal Version of Fabi" alarm. The one who wakes up, rolls out a yoga mat, and meditates into a state of Zen before the world wakes up. In my head, I see her—calm, centered, ready. In reality, I hit snooze. No workout today. The bed is the only place that feels safe from the demands of the day.

5:45 AM. The second alarm. This is the "Productivity Guru" alarm. My brain flickers toward my Master’s notes or that Power Automate course I’ve been trying to chip away at. I think about the business I want to build and the woman I want to become. But the fatigue isn't just in my muscles; it’s in my bones. I hit snooze again.

6:15 AM. The final snooze. This isn’t a choice anymore; it’s a survival instinct. My body is literally protesting the start of another fragmented day.

6:20 AM. I’m finally up. I dress in the quiet shadows of the room, trying not to wake the house, and stumble toward the kitchen. The first coffee of the day is no longer a ritual I enjoy; it’s a medical necessity to jumpstart a heart that feels heavy. By 6:45 AM, the blue light of my laptop is hitting my face, illuminating the dark living room. Shift One has begun.


The Fragmentation of a Soul

This is the reality of a fragmented life. Between 6:45 and 7:30, I am a finance professional. I am digging through spreadsheets, responding to emails, and trying to find the "flow" before the rest of my life demands center stage. At 7:30, the mask shifts. I wake up my daughter, Eliana. I am incredibly lucky—she is independent, she gets herself dressed and packs her lunch—but I am still "on." I keep my eyes glued to the screen, typing with one hand while answering questions about lost socks or breakfast choices with the other. I am physically there, but my mind is three emails deep into a corporate problem.

8:45 AM. We are out the door. The school drop-off is a whirlwind, and then comes the drive. 9:15 AM. I am at my desk at the office. Shift Two begins.

This shift is the "Corporate Endurance" test. On the days I have mental clarity, I am a powerhouse. I can move mountains of data and streamline complex systems. But lately, those days are rare. Most days, I am just surviving. I am watching the clock, not because I don’t want to work, but because I am terrified of the "Traffic Tax." At 3:45 PM, I have to sprint. I have to be out of that office and in my car to face the Montreal traffic that feels like a physical weight.

That hour in the car is a slow, annoying crawl. It’s a transition period where I should be winding down, but instead, I am revving up for the final push. By the time I walk through my front door at 4:45 PM, I’m not "home." I’m just at the site of Shift Three—the final 45 to 60 minutes of work I owe the day to reach my 8 hours. I do this while the "mom guilt" starts to simmer on the stove along with dinner.

The Math of Failing (Fixed)

When you add it all up, the math of a working mom never equals 100%. We are sold a lie that we can "have it all," but we aren't told the cost.

If I’m being honest, my current breakdown looks like this:

  • 30% Professional: I’m doing the work, but I’m not innovating. I’m maintaining, not growing.

  • 30% Mom: I’m making the lunches and doing the drives, but am I present? Or am I thinking about a pivot table?

  • 5% Friend: My phone is a graveyard of "I’ll call you back" texts.

  • 35% The "Ghost" Percentage: This is where the rest of me goes. It’s spent on anxiety, on the "invisible load" of managing a household while my husband, Rich, is traveling. It’s spent on the sheer mental energy required to switch between "Corporate Fabi" and "Mom Fabi" six times a day.

That totals 100%, but there is 0% left for Fabiola. There is no percentage left for the woman who likes pop music, who likes to run for the joy of it, or who just wants to sit in silence with a cider.

The Ghost of Burnout Past

I have been here before. A few years ago, I hit a wall so hard I didn't think I’d get up. That burnout wasn't just "tiredness"—it was a total system failure.

Because of that experience, I have developed a "Burnout Radar." I can see the early signs before anyone else can. I see it in the way I can’t find joy in the things I love. I see it in the way the commute feels like a personal insult from the universe. I see it in the agitation I feel when Eliana asks for one more story at bedtime because all I can think about is the "Shift Three" work I still have to finish.

The fragmented schedule is taking a toll. When your husband travels and you are solo-parenting while trying to fill the shoes of a full-time corporate role with only one day of remote work allowed, the system is designed to break you. I’ve realized that if I don’t choose to stop, my body will eventually make the choice for me. And I refuse to let that happen again.

To the Mamas on the "Pause"

I am writing this for the working mamas who feel like they are "failing" because they can't keep up with the impossible pace. I want to tell you something I’m still learning to believe: It is okay to start, pause, and restart.

Our society views careers as a linear climb. If you aren't going up, you're going down. But that’s a lie. A career is a landscape. Sometimes you are running through a meadow; sometimes you are climbing a mountain; and sometimes, the weather is too bad to move, and you have to set up camp and wait for the sun.

Choosing to leave my job right now isn't "giving up." It’s a strategic retreat. It’s saying, "I value my sanity and my daughter’s childhood more than a corporate title that requires me to be a ghost of myself."

For some, the career must come first, and there is no shame in that. But for others, the family needs us to be the anchor, not the sail. And that is okay, too.

My "Little Business" and the Power of the Pivot

I am not "stopping." My brain is still firing. I have so much I want to do with it. But I’ve learned that I can’t build a business on a foundation of exhaustion.

So, I am doing things differently this time. I am using this "in-between" time to expand my qualifications on my own terms. I am taking courses on Alison—little pieces of learning like Power Automate and AI—that I can finish in 20-minute pockets of time. It’s "micro-learning" for a "macro-life."

I am building my future, but I do so with the "Weekend Audit" mindset. If it doesn't serve my peace, it doesn't get my time. I am learning to be okay with the "Pause" because I know the "Restart" is going to be legendary.

If you are feeling the early signs of that burnout "ghost," I invite you to look at your own math. Are you leaving anything for yourself? If not, maybe it’s time to rewrite the equation.


Love,

Fabi 

Transparency Note: I believe in transparency in business and life. This post contains affiliate links for Alison, where I’m currently taking my courses, and Wealthsimple, where I manage the finances for my future business. Using these links supports my journey as I transition to full-time entrepreneurship. Link in bio for the full list of tools I use.

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