Budgeting Isn’t About Control — It’s the Tool That’s Helping Me Breathe

Before I started working, I was very conscious of how we spent money. My husband was the one bringing income into the house, and I was laser-focused on making sure we didn’t overspend. I was strict — not in a guilt-heavy way, just practical. Going out for dinner? That felt like a luxury. Grabbing a coffee from a coffee shop? Also a luxury. We weren’t living in scarcity, but we were very intentional.

Travel has always been important to us — it’s something that feeds us as a family — so we prioritized that and cut back on other “extras” at home to make it happen.

Then I started working.

And with that came this feeling of, “We can loosen up a bit.” So we did. We started going out more — restaurants, bars, movies. It felt good to enjoy what we’d been saying no to for a while. We were saving a little more, spending a little more, and just... breathing a bit.

But then it hit me: we were wasting money.

Not in a dramatic way. But it was sneaky — a little here, a little there. All that new financial freedom was trickling away without intention. That’s when we sat down and brought back budgeting — but this time, it felt different. It didn’t feel like a cage. It felt like a tool.

Now we’ve got our main categories:

Husband: solo outings, clothing, and personal things that have nothing to do with the household

Fabi (me): same

Daughter: same

Groceries

Transportation

Cat (yes, he gets his own line in the budget since he runs this house)

Entertainment

We also have a separate bank account for repairs, furniture, and home-related emergencies. We auto-deposit $50 each, every two weeks. And we’ve already used it — like the time our washer/dryer died out of nowhere. We didn’t panic, we didn’t pull out the credit card — we just used the fund.

That’s the power of budgeting. It’s not about saying no to fun or locking down your life in a spreadsheet. It’s about having space when life throws crap at you. It’s about knowing you’re covered. It’s about not scrambling to figure out where the money’s going to come from when the unexpected hits.

And real talk? Yeah, we still splurge sometimes. We’ll still grab a coffee, book a last-minute dinner, or go for something fun just because. But that’s the beauty of it — the freedom comes from the plan. I don’t feel guilty about the little extras, because I know our bases are covered.

Budgeting used to feel like control. Now it feels like breathing.

If budgeting has ever felt heavy, hard, or like something “other people” do — I get it. But maybe it’s not about spreadsheets or perfection. Maybe it’s just a way to feel a little more ready, a little more supported, and a lot more calm.

Do you use a budget? Do you wing it? Is it working for you? I’d love to know — drop a comment or send me a DM. 💛

-Fabi