Finding My Way Back

(A late-summer reflection from a mom, a worker, and a woman learning to breathe again)

It’s been a while since I’ve written here. I haven’t been around on the blog since July, and honestly, it feels strange to admit how much I’ve missed it. Writing has always been my outlet, my calm space, the place where I can pour out the noise in my head and turn it into something that makes sense. But lately, life has been loud — full of new challenges, changes, and beautiful chaos — and finding time to sit down and write has felt almost impossible.

This summer, I gave myself permission to just live. I spent more time outdoors, met up with friends, and allowed myself to enjoy slow mornings and long evenings without feeling guilty about not being “productive.” I also threw myself into my new job in the Finance department, which has been both exciting and demanding. I’m still learning, adjusting, and building confidence in what I do every day. It’s been a season of growth, but also one of profound exhaustion.

There were moments this summer that stopped me in my tracks, the kind that make you realize how quickly time moves. Picking up my daughter after her stay-away camp was one of them. She came back taller, more confident, and with stories that made me laugh and tear up at the same time. She’s in fifth grade now, and sometimes when I look at her, I catch a glimpse of the young woman she’s becoming. It’s terrific and a little heartbreaking all at once. You spend years teaching them independence, and then one day, they have it — and you realize how much you miss being needed in the same way.

We also celebrated Nana’s 100th birthday this summer, and it was such a gift. Family came from all over Canada to be with her. Seeing everyone together —generations in one room, sharing stories and laughter —reminded me of the power of family and how rare it is to have those moments. Something was grounding about it — a reminder that life’s pace will constantly shift, but love and connection are the constants we carry with us.

Our little banana bread gig took a break this summer. Between work, family, and everything else, we just didn’t have the time or energy to keep it going. And you know what? That’s okay. Sometimes, you have to let go of the guilt of not doing everything. Life can’t always be full speed ahead. Some things can wait while you catch your breath.

Still, I’d be lying if I said the anxiety didn’t show up now and then. There were a few times when it tried to creep back in, whispering that I wasn’t doing enough, that I was falling behind. But therapy has helped me recognize those moments for what they are — signals, not failures. I’ve learned to pause before the spiral starts, to breathe, to take a walk, to remind myself that it’s okay to rest. I don’t have to earn peace.

My commute is long these days —usually between 30 and 50 minutes each way —and at first, I hated it. It felt like lost time, like I was spending chunks of my life trapped in traffic. But over time, I turned it into something that nourishes me. I started listening to podcasts — some about work and creativity, others just for fun — and now that time feels like my own little sanctuary. I get to start and end my day with stories, laughter, and new ideas. It’s a slight shift, but it’s made a big difference.

In the middle of all this, I’ve been quietly exploring something new — working as a virtual assistant on the side. It’s still early, and I’m taking it slow, but it’s been fun to tap into my creative side again. I love organizing, writing, and helping others bring order to their chaos. Even if it doesn’t grow into something big, I’m enjoying the process and what I’m learning along the way.

My husband has been travelling for work again, and while I miss him, there’s something special about the time my daughter and I share when it’s just the two of us. We have our little routines — simple dinners, shared laughs, late-night talks — and it strengthens our relationship in ways that feel really meaningful. It’s a quiet kind of joy, one I’ve learned to cherish.

So yes, I’ve been away from the blog, but not because I stopped caring. I love writing. It’s still my favourite way to slow down and reflect, but the truth is, sometimes I just don’t have the time or the mental space for it. Life gets full. But that doesn’t mean I’ve let go of it — just that I’m learning to come back when I can, without guilt or pressure.

As the air starts to cool and fall begins to settle in, I feel that familiar pull to return here. To write. To connect. To share again. Writing helps me remember who I am underneath all the roles I play. It helps me notice the little things that often get lost in the rush.

If there’s one thing this season has taught me, it’s that stepping away doesn’t mean starting over. It just means you’re giving yourself time to grow behind the scenes. And when you come back, you come back softer, stronger, and more grounded in what truly matters.

Here’s to being back. To find balance. To write again, not out of obligation, but out of love. ❤️

-Fabi